The Red Flags Quiz

The Red Flags Recognition Tool

Learn to spot emotional control before it becomes abuse

What This Tool Does

Emotional abuse rarely starts with obvious harm.

It begins with small signals—confusion, discomfort, contradiction.

This tool helps you spot the early patterns of emotional control—

so you can act before the damage deepens.

🔴 COMMON RED FLAGS

These are behaviors that may seem small—but often point to larger patterns.

They dismiss your feelings (“You’re too sensitive.”)
They shift blame quickly (“It’s not my fault, you made me do it.”)
They punish you emotionally when you say no
They constantly question your memory (“That’s not what happened.”)
They withdraw affection as punishment
They control small things—then say you’re overreacting
They turn your honesty into a guilt trip
They love-bomb, then disappear
They act like a victim when called out

One red flag is a signal.

Multiple red flags are a system.

🧭 How to Use This Tool

Use it to reflect:

Do I feel safe being fully honest around them?
Do they take responsibility—or turn things around on me?
Do I leave conversations feeling confused or guilty?

These signs are not proof of abuse—

but they’re early warning signs of emotional manipulation.

🧠 Notes for Neurodivergent Folks

You may have learned to override your internal alarms

just to stay connected, safe, or accepted.

This tool helps you trust your nervous system again.

It’s okay to leave a situation just because it doesn’t feel right.

You don’t have to wait until it becomes “bad enough.”

💛 Final Words

Red flags aren’t always obvious.

But your body often knows before your mind can explain it.

This tool isn’t here to make you paranoid.

It’s here to help you stay awake.

The sooner you name the pattern,

the sooner you can walk away—or set a boundary that protects your peace.

Films refection:

The Wonder (2022)

Theme: Emotional control disguised as virtue

In this story, a young girl is being slowly erased by those around her—

not through overt violence, but through dismissal, silence, and moral superiority.

Her pain is minimized, her voice is questioned, and her caregivers twist love into control.

This film shows how emotional abuse begins quietly—

and how red flags often hide in systems that call themselves care.

🎬

I, Tonya (2017)

Theme: Normalized emotional abuse

Tonya Harding’s childhood and adult relationships are filled with red flags—gaslighting, emotional punishment, blame-shifting—so frequent they’re seen as normal.

This film exposes how abuse can feel “ordinary” when you’ve grown up in it, and how hard it is to name red flags when your baseline is chaos.

🎬

The Tinder Swindler (2022)

Theme: Charm, confusion, and emotional extraction

This documentary shows how manipulation doesn’t start with threats—it starts with love-bombing, guilt, and story rewriting.

Each woman feels something is off—but doubts herself, until it’s too late.

It’s a painful reminder:

Red flags don’t always scream. Sometimes they whisper.

This is a living document. Please cite responsibly.

www.blueprint.emotionalblueprint.org ┃ annaparetas@emotionalblueprint.org